Last Thursday was one hella day... As the clock struck 1230, it meant the start of shit? yeah coz it was GP. Had a essay test then. It was followed by a lame vocab test where many just regurgitate after memorizing the answers, a total waste of time. Lester and I was called forth by my form tutor to meet her after tt lame test. Well, she classfies he and I as the negative energies of the class. Okay, I would agree that I am hot-headed, rash and impulsive. She even used the testimonial as a threat at the beginning of our "conversation". Hmmm, the reason... I dont know exactly, but I know for sure that she has biased views about us already. Well, how i ended up like that, haha I dont even know myself, just my character... my personality... my way of doing things... my life... Whatever the case, if she continues to judge me upon such superficial conjestures, then I would still consider her as a narrow-minded teacher then... Maybe, I should see the counsellor to confide my feelings, someone who can grant me a more professional and unbiased opinion... Maybe... Maybe so... ...
Shooting the pistol, my right hand cant let go of that air pistol, grasping on it with ease and fire with a controlled prick of my index finger. Hmmm, now I see the air pistol as a mean to release my frustrations, disappointments, heat and sorrows... Somewhere I can forget all my unhappy moments in school, at home, outside and anywhere else. When I prepare to fire that pellet, my mind and body goes on a trance, ignoring the surroundings, engaging only with the Gun and the Target Board... The world then belongs to the target and me... Total focus rest in my hands... Bring forth the target, and I shall shoot it down!
Studies just dont appeal to me anymore. Going to school, without the mind that tells I want to learn, but to just to be there for the sake of being... As the class starts to break down and decompose, I break away from the reality and trying to isolate oneself, life starts to alter its direction promptly. Lessons begin to get routined, boring and pressing, together with unappealing tutors, it just doesnt get better... Others tell me its just a few more months, just a few more months, just awhile longer, BUT it has been a hell long time since last march... I have been waiting for more than a year and still I must carry on this hella shit... ...
Quitting DOTA?? yeah maybe that's what I might just do... Been playing for relatively long yet i still suck so much at it... Haha, it's just not cut out for a person like me... Think... Think... Think...
